Lake City Community Church Men’s Leadership Workshop 4/9/2024
In thinking about innocence and brokenness, I had assumed that a primary purpose of brokenness was to steal my sense of innocence. It has been effort after effort trying to return to those times when life was good. Time before death and a deeper understanding of evil. My understanding of God's rescue plan was shaped by this - that God could enable me to return to happier times.
This evening God helped me see something better and I'd like to share that with you. A part of me has always been marked by failure even in my innocence - boldness. I had always wished I could be bold and I've set out to prove that I could be. As a kid I would jump ramps on my bike. I later joined the Army to prove to my brothers that I could be bold enough to follow through with something hard. I am afraid of heights so I jumped out of planes. I sought out combat to prove that I had courage. In all these things fear and failure defined me. When I got this job at Boeing, I missed my start date due to panic attacks strong enough I had to go to the ER for treatment. In a way, it has felt as through my courage had departed me.
God's plan of restoration has been to restore something I never thought I had - boldness. This boldness is different though as it is not my own but God's by His grace. This boldness is more complete than the counterfeit I had been pursuing. This persistent trust in God's will saw me start at Boeing even through my battle with anxiety. God gave me courage to not give up - in fact He never stopped in the first place. I am bold because Jesus boldly faced shame and death on the cross in my place. It has been tempting to listen to the lie but the truth is God is restoring me to a place I have never been - somewhere greater even than when life was at its best. I hadn't seen that before and I'm grateful He used you guys in it. Just figured I share that with you!
This evening God helped me see something better and I'd like to share that with you. A part of me has always been marked by failure even in my innocence - boldness. I had always wished I could be bold and I've set out to prove that I could be. As a kid I would jump ramps on my bike. I later joined the Army to prove to my brothers that I could be bold enough to follow through with something hard. I am afraid of heights so I jumped out of planes. I sought out combat to prove that I had courage. In all these things fear and failure defined me. When I got this job at Boeing, I missed my start date due to panic attacks strong enough I had to go to the ER for treatment. In a way, it has felt as through my courage had departed me.
God's plan of restoration has been to restore something I never thought I had - boldness. This boldness is different though as it is not my own but God's by His grace. This boldness is more complete than the counterfeit I had been pursuing. This persistent trust in God's will saw me start at Boeing even through my battle with anxiety. God gave me courage to not give up - in fact He never stopped in the first place. I am bold because Jesus boldly faced shame and death on the cross in my place. It has been tempting to listen to the lie but the truth is God is restoring me to a place I have never been - somewhere greater even than when life was at its best. I hadn't seen that before and I'm grateful He used you guys in it. Just figured I share that with you!